How do you approach fantasies when dating??

[SASSYDAYNA19_PREV (deleted)]

I know we all have fantasties. Good, bad or nasty. But how do you find that one person you can reveal your true inner desires without scaring them away? My ex boyfriend freaked out when I told him my fantasies and we eventually broke up over the issue of nudism and my hidden desires. I used to think I was alone in my fantasies or fetishes. Not many women would want what I am seeking - at least in real life. Are all men afraid of role play attack or rape? I don't want a man who is open to it if we are not going to making it a long term relationship. I'm sure there are many men who would be willing to accomodate me, but I would only want it with a man I felt would be more than a rough one night stand or a Mr. Right Now sex! There is a lot more to it than just hoping on top and getting off. But does anyone have the answer about this. It confuses me that I don't know when I can be honest enough to express this with the man I am dating. Why do we have to reveal it when we are already in the relationship only to find out we are not compatible?

[devdon_PREV (deleted)]

You don't say what your fantasies are.
But like everything about two people, it takes time to find whether you are compatible about many facets of you and your lifestyle.
No easy answer, just got to keep trying, and hope you can enjoy it.

[nichols]

agree u

[jonnywideglide_PREV (deleted)]

While it is true that it takes time to get to know one another completely, some things need to be discussed early in any relationship. In order for a relationship to be healthy, ------ compatability is very important. Some men do not like aggressive women let alone one who would like to role play in such a rough fashion. If it is important to you to fulfill these types of fantasies then you absolutely MUST discuss this early. I can see how this would frighten some men in the simple fact that they may find it exciting and that scares them to realize they have these tendencies which between two consenting individuals I would find it to be a healthy expression of ------ emotion. There is an animal in all of us but some would choose to keep it caged while others, like myself look forward to this type of activity.

[airjammer1966_PREV (deleted)]

Fantasies are great along with role play. what I do is just throw it out there when the timing is right very early on in the meeting phase. I'll say that play is a little difficult for most rough bondage play is much eaiser to get past someone than --- is. I am not having much luck with women who will be exibitionist's with me/for me. I enjoy some pretty out there activities and am trying to find a gal that will go on vacation with me to Hedo II or III. you interested??? Take care and just throw it out there.

Thomas

[drdelight]

A suggestion:

Take the time, set down and write out your fantasie in somewhat detail. Write it as if you were writng a script for a soap opera. Explain what you want and how you want it in as much detail as you wish. Explain the male's role and what you wish for him to do. Then type it up; print a few copies and pass them out to perspective partners. Find out straight up front.

By the way contact me if you care to have any and all fantasy actualized 24/7 for as long a term relationship as you care to have in a perfect environment.

[dezz (deleted)]

.well both in real passionate n romantic mood with totality of expression in romance.

[dezz (deleted)]

`The expression of the mind is the beginning to the expression of the -------ity of passion which cretes the romance of togetherness.

[twindragon]

`Just talk about them. If you feel they are really outrageous hint around them and joke about them in interment situations and try and gage your partners response to them. Encourage them to talk about their fantasies.

[mossytrail (deleted)]

`Goodness me, seems there are almost as many former members as current ones. Makes me wonder how often I need to go back and re-read the rules to avoid becoming "former" myself.

In answer to the original question: she asked whether all men are afraid of role-playing. I would answer: all men have good reason to be! Maybe she wants it at first; but if something goes wrong, no one is going to believe him in court when he says she wanted it -- that is the excuse most real rapists use. The reality is, we have to be careful to avoid even the appearance of doing something illegal, because of society's paranoia.

[centauri4]

Fantasies involving "rough" --- should be discussed fairly early on IF the person wanting them is not willing to compromise on these and wants them to happen in order to achieve personal fulfillment or satisfaction. The two, or more, need to get to know each other first and establish a level of trust that is sincere and understanding -- that should be the basis of all intimate relationships. Solid, unshakable trust that people will NOT compromise on even if the relationship eventually ends.

I do not understand the males who share private pictures of "Ex-" girlfriends and things like that. If something is shared this way, the real honor code means you respect the person and the faith they placed in you to cherish and protect shared details. Apparently there are some people in the world that have a very misinformed concept of trust and honor, or respect for that matter.

Establish the trust first, know the person will honor it, and then consider sharing with them a desire to fulfill a role-playing fantasy.